Today was a day of complete tranquility, being at internal peace , feeling overwhelmed with a genuine happiness and joy, falling in love with the wonders of nature, and having a sense of renewal in mind and spirit. Throughout this past week, I’ve struggled a lot with the feeling of having to see all of my efforts go to waste, and not succeeding when I feel like I try so hard. I’ve come to accept that this is just a part of college, and life in general. I can’t always expect things to be handed to me so easily- when people truly love and care about something, they go out and fight for it and that’s something I’ve had to learn will happen at the cost of stress, many tears, hours and hours of hard work, and many many more trials that will test my perseverance and determination. Achieving your goals is, over anything, a mental challenge that tests your endurance, and to what extent your drive for your passions and for success will take you.
With that being said, spending the day at the beach with my roommate was much needed for this mental renewal. It’s hard for me personally to not get down on myself and make my problems and concerns to be much bigger than they actually are. I get like that. I have this tendency to automatically assume the worst and make all these assumptions about what’s going to occur as a result of it, and it’s just mentally unhealthy to maintain such a negative perspective. Part of me does this so that I will feel better about myself if I do better than expected, and that’s easy to do when my expectations are set incredibly low. At the same time, however, I know that this isn’t entirely a matter of my expectations, more of this just has to do with my attitude and how I choose to approach certain situations.
Anyways, I’ve really been missing home these past few weeks and going to the beach only made me miss home more, but at the same time, it gave me a little piece of home to get me through this next week (before finals week, eek!). There are certain moments in your life that are just so utterly special that the only thing that can truly capture everything in that moment is your own heart and mind. I had one of those moments today. As I was staring out into the ocean thinking about how I wanted to just take everything in, I saw a dolphin jump out of the waters and dive back into the waves in all its beauty and majesty. Beauty in nature like that sometimes just takes your breath away. Stephanie and I also shared some incredible moments of complete peace and escape as we were paddleboarding today. For a few minutes, we just stopped paddling, lay down on our boards and just closed our eyes, embraced the sunshine and contemplated about life a little bit. I can’t describe how peaceful I felt in that moment-like nothing else in the world mattered, how I was hundreds of feet out in the water, yet I was still so calm and wanted nothing else but to just stay there and enjoy the beauty around me. It was a little bit of a self-discovery moment out there in the sea, free of all the worries that have just been piling up over these past few weeks, free of all the worldly things and mundane routines that we get so caught up in on a daily life-who texted us, what the latest tweets are, how many likes you get on a picture, what’s going on on Facebook, the e-mails I need to check…so on and so forth. Free yourself of that once in a while and connect yourself to the world around you. No, not the little Internet world that you believe to be so important. Connect yourself to your loved ones, your surroundings, the many types of people you will continue to meet throughout your time in college, and more importantly, to yourself. I think everyone could use a little bit of that.
All of today was a good reminder of why I love where I am and how lucky I am once again. As difficult as life treats you sometimes, it can also be so incredible and amazing and today was just that. I am truly, truly blessed.
“You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” ~Alan Alda
Wishing you a most beautiful day ♥